Not good at resolve? Try following your heart!

 I am really delighted to be introducing the terrific Karen Blackburn to you today. Karen has been a long time reader of Bliss Habits and I have always been inspired by how she has tried on the ideas I have shared over here and put them to work in her own life. Always quick with an encouraging word, even when things weren’t always going well for her, Karen just oozes authenticity and a tenacity for living that I find inspiring.  I think you will too!

When you are done reading what she has to say here, you’ll want to head right on over to her new blog where she speaks frankly and powerfully about her journey.

 

Resolve – To come to a definite or earnest decision about; determination to follow a purpose or intent.

I’ve never been very good at ‘Resolve’.  Great at advising other people to have it – stick to your guns, see it through to the end – keep your eye on your goal and do what you need to get there.  But me?  Well, what’s the point?  New Year Resolutions fall by the wayside after a week, diets after a couple of days – you know, when things get too difficult!  The word ‘resolve’ for me conjures up ideas of constraint – following one course of action to the exclusion of others – and I’m so worried that I might miss something that I don’t want to exclude anything!  It also suggests battling on through gritted teeth and if I’m anything it’s an ‘easy life’ kind of girl!

I really love to make cards – I made the wedding stationery for Awesome Daughter Number One’s wedding, so I thought I could build a business from this, (do what you love and it won’t seem like work), but apart from a couple of enquiries I’ve been unable to build on it.  I realised that as soon as I began to look at this as a means to make money, I stopped enjoying it.  Similarly, I learned how to do Indian Head Massage with the idea that this would be a service I could offer, but again, the business didn’t materialise – I was not keen on going out and drumming up business.  I approached both of these ventures in a half hearted way – not really believing in myself and without any real resolve.

If you read my blog, you’ll know about Awesome Daughter Number One’s challenges recently – feeling that the universe was telling her that she should be giving up on her dreams, that she was trying her hardest to get where she wanted to go, but that after working for thirteen years through school, four years through university and five years in temporary contracts, there was no sign of a permanent teaching post and that maybe she should be reconsidering her path.  Well, she stuck to her guns, accepted yet another temporary position for after the summer, continued to attend interviews and landed what seems to be her dream job.  Her resolve paid off.

So, when considering ‘resolve’, as usual, I reflected.  I looked back to see if I could find examples of Resolve in my life.  I remembered how I felt three years ago when there was a disaster in Haiti and felt compelled to raise money to help.  I managed to get all our local schools on board to work together so that every school pupil in our town donated money to come to school for a non-uniform day.  The idea was that every child in Montrose was doing the same thing for the same reason at the same time.  It worked and we raised over £3000!

When I was pregnant with my third daughter, I was so determined to eat healthily that after she was born, I weighed fourteen pounds less than I did before my pregnancy started!

And when I decided to explore the question of who I am.  Again, three years ago (is that a coincidence?)  Reading books, surfing the net, joining groups, leaving groups, finding my heart and starting my very own blog.  I’ve not stopped even when the questions have been difficult or I’ve not been able to find the answers – sometimes I’ve set them aside to come back to later, but often these are the ones that niggle so I know that they really need to be addressed!

I’ve found that in these instances, it feels less like a decision and more like a compulsion to act.  They are things that I have, had to do – an unstoppable force!  And when my heart’s not really in it, then that’s when things slide.

Kathy talked on Monday of the resolve she sees in her daughter.  For me, what she describes is more than just a decision.  It’s a knowing that she has to do something and a determination to do it.  She is totally following her heart.

So, it seems to me that when you know what your dream is, or your purpose in life, or your mission, resolve comes.  Tenacity comes – and maybe because your heart is in it, it won’t even seem like resolve, it’ll just seem like it’s what you do!

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Karen Blackburn

I have been on a journey for the last three years in an attempt to uncover who I really am.  As part of this journey I have recently begun to blog, offering others the opportunity to travel with me and to share my trials, tribulations and triumphs!  I set my intention for the week on a Monday and reflect on the things I am grateful for on a Friday and invite my readers to do the same.  I can be found at Karen Blackburn – A Work in Progress.