The Power of Letting Go

Welcome to Tuesdays with Chel.

Each week Chel Micheline of gingerblue dot com offers her perspectives on our Bliss Habits. Please enjoy the wisdom and clarity she offers.

 

“Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.”
– Eckhart Tolle

In light of the recent giant purge I did of my art studio, I learned a *lot* about simplicity. What I learned is that choosing simplicity is a powerful act. It can have remarkable influence that expands out on your entire life.

Now, I’m not talking about “I own so few things that I can fit them in a backpack” or “I am trying to only own 50 things total.” I understand the logic behind both those movements, but personally, they aren’t for me. So that’s not what I’m talking about.

The truth is, I enjoy the things I own. I have never been the kind of person who spends money simply because I could. Especially when it comes to art supplies. The process of purchasing the items is almost as important as my use of said item.

I LOVE going to art supply and craft stores, meandering among the aisles for a long time. I love seeing what’s new. I love looking things over carefully, feeling their heft and texture in my hands, thinking carefully about what use the object might realistically have. I love considering the price, carefully choosing one thing (or two, if I have a coupon), and making the decision whether or not to purchase it. And if I do purchase, which isn’t terribly often, I love bringing the new item home, unwrapping it, studying it some more, and then finding a place for it among the rest of my beloved art supplies.  By the time I am engaged with the object already. It’s meaningful to me. And then to get happy use from it on a regular basis? Good stuff.

So, no, I never go into a store and just randomly see something and say “that’s appealing, here’s my money!” The objects I own have been chosen and considered, their acquisition an act of joy in itself. And I know a LOT of people feel the same way.

The key is to pare down your “things” to the GOOD stuff. Meaning, CHOOSE ONLY WHAT YOU LOVE. I’m serious about this, which is why I put in bold, all-caps.

Let’s talk about CHOOSING LOVE. When you choose to “curate” your belongings- and these can be material *and* emotional things (relationships, obligations, projects, ideas)- you are choosing to love and honor yourself. And no worries- usually this “choose only what you love” space is just ONE level below your simplicity comfort-zone, not renting a dumpster and throwing away 75% of your belongings. So hang in there with me, if you can!

When you choose only the things you love, you are making the powerful decision to choose the things that genuinely bring you joy and lightness. You are choosing yourself and your well-being over material (or emotional) clutter. And when you choose YOURSELF, big things start happening.

Let me tell you the hard truth- when you buy something, that’s the moment that the money is gone. Holding on to items simply because they cost a certain amount of money, or even because you made some sort of emotional commitment to them (this is where the emotional clutter part comes into play) is a waste of resources and energy. The money is gone. There’s nothing you can do that will bring that back. And the mental/emotional space the object takes up just continues to grow and grow.

You are basically still spending and investing in that object or emotion (or person or relationship or whatever kind of clutter might be dragging you down…) every single moment you allow it to share space in your life. You keep WASTING PRECIOUS RESOUCRES on it in an effort to make it have some sort of value, which, truth be told, it most likely will never have. The money is gone, and you’re still investing in it every day. How draining is that?

When you toss something, or even just approach the idea of getting rid of it, you clear that space. The negativity goes away. The obligation is dissolved. The relief that comes with that is enormous, and I promise you that it’s worth those moments of discomfort when you think “but I spent so much time and resources on this… what a waste… I’m such a _____ (indulgent spender, shopaholic, lazy jerk, wasteful creep <– insert self-critical accusation in blank space…)

Do you REALLY want something or someone in your life that makes you feel that way about yourself? REPEATEDLY? Because I know that every time you look at that object, or think about it, or even consider a new object or emotional connection that you REALLY love, you are getting pelted with all that negative self-criticism from the original object.

Choosing to free yourself from all that messy chaotic energy, all that negativity and obligation and bad feeling- it’s a BIG deal. It’s huge.

And when you start doing releasing all those emotions that come attached with the “clutter”, little spaces open up. Emotional and physical energy comes back. The little spaces that are created by tossing the clutter allows the things you love more room in your life. And those things FLOURISH.

Imagine your inner life is like a garden. You have a finite amount of space and energy and resources and attention.  That’s just the way it is. You aren’t broken or less-than because you have limits. It’s just the way humans were created.

So back to the garden analogy- in your little square of land you might have a zillion different tiny, tiny, tiny little plants that are all struggling for space and resources and water and sunshine and all barely making it.

Or you can selectively “edit” some of that, get rid of the plants you honestly don’t feel drawn to, and give the plants you LOVE room to grow a little bit more and really take root and bloom explosively. The more room you clear for them, the more they grow.

Trust me, I know it’s hard to yank a “living thing” (and that’s what some of our stuff IS- a living part of us, especially if it’s a relationship or an object that cost a lot or has emotional significance) out of the soil and toss it. But think of this process in terms of LOVE. What would the LOVING thing be to do? Are you choosing to hold on to an object or relationship or obligation out of love or fear?

And, don’t forget, the stuff you “yank” can be donated to someone who REALLY needs it, someone who will truly love it because they need it or just would LOVE to have it. Or it might just end up in the recycling bin, which is okay, too.

So, I am urging you, from personal experience, to CHOOSE LOVE. CHOOSE and HONOR the fact you have finite resources, that only so many flowers can flourish in your garden. CHOOSE the things you love. Your life will immediately shift, I *promise* you. And the more you keep choosing the meaningful, the beloved, the real-happiness-containing stuff of life over the clutter, your well-being will flourish. And continue to do so.