Some Thoughts and 11 Inspirational Quotes on Developing a Resolve for Joy

“To get up each morning with the resolve to be happy…is to set our own conditions to the events of each day. To do this is to condition circumstances instead of being conditioned by them.”

 ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I was in my twenties I was a wide eyed optimist.  I started a little business with a friend of mine and poured all the money I had at the time, including a small line of credit, into the business. I was sure the rewards would be worth the risks I was taking. In a short amount of time we were making a little money and I decided that I would quit my day job and concentrate on the little survey business we had launched.

Things were humming along, to the point that we started looking at office space to house our previously home based operation. At the time I remember thinking that it “felt too soon” but Karen, my partner in the venture convinced me that we would appear more legitimate if we had a “real office.” We had our stuff in cardboard boxes in each of our homes so it did seem to be a good idea to consolidate and and get everything under one roof.

The weekend we were scheduled to move into our new office landed on a weekend I was scheduled to be at an out of town wedding. Karen was not discouraged by this and insisted that she could handle the move and we could work out the details when I got back. In preparation I took most of my business related stuff over to her house and then had Karen drop me off at the airport.

When I returned from my trip, Karen was not at the airport to pick me up as was planned. I waited for a while, called and did not reach her at home. This was well before the time of cell phones so if something had happened there was really no way to get a message to me. I decided to take a cab home. When I got there my car was not in my driveway but everything else looked normal. I figured Karen must have used the car. It was a convertible and I had offered her the use of it while I was away.

In time I started to get worried. I couldn’t figure out why Karen hadn’t returned my calls so I got a friend to take me over to her house. As I approached the front porch I could see something was wrong. None of the usual porch furniture was in sight. As I peaked into the window I saw the place was completely deserted. I then went over to the business office which was also completely empty.

I could not believe it. She had stolen my car and took everything! The one computer and all the paperwork related to the business. It was one of the most devastating things I had ever had happen to me. I did get my car back a few days later. It apparently overheated and she was unable to get it started again so it was left on the side of the road and the police returned it to me.

I set about tying up all the loose ends Karen left me with. People were really great about it. Small businesses which had paid for survey services from us, wrote those charges off and did not hold me personally liable. Because we hadn’t actually moved in and there was another business that wanted our space I only lost one months rent on the office space. By the time it was all totaled up I did lose more then $10,000 on the whole fiasco.

After all this happened, I remember people wanting me to be more angry and upset. I had learned that Karen had had some very personal reasons for doing what she did related to her son’s custody. This in no way condones what she did to me but I just wasn’t going to spend the rest of my life fretting about it or trying to get even. I also hadn’t realized, while I was in the business that I really didn’t like it all that much so when all this happened it really was my chance to start over.

Yes, I was totally screwed over but I wasn’t about to make that my life story. Somehow I made the decision at that very young age to remain optimistic regardless of my circumstances. My parents called me a Pollyanna, friends offered to be angry for me but this didn’t matter. I decided I could be happy no matter my circumstances and I am here to report some twenty years later this outlook has served me very well. I truly believe we can develop a resolve for joy no matter our circumstances. I’m not saying we should foolishly leap into every situation without a sanity check but if we do find ourselves in less then ideal circumstances we do not have to be defined by them.

Some others agree with me:

• “Resolve to keep happy and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.”  ~Helen Keller
• “The happiest people don’t worry too much about whether life is fair or not, they just get on with it.”  ~Andrew Matthews
• “The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not on our circumstances. We carry the seeds of the one or the other about with us in our minds wherever we go.”  ~Martha Washington
• “No matter how much madder it may make you, get out of bed forcing a smile. You may not smile because you are cheerful; but if you will force yourself to smile, you’ll end up laughing. You will be cheerful because you smile. Repeated experiments prove that when man assumes the facial expressions of a given mental mood — any given mood — then that mental mood itself will follow.”  ~Kenneth Goode
• “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”  ~Thich Nhat Hanh
• “We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.”                              ~Carlos Castaneda 
• “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”   ~Abraham Lincoln
• “Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.”              ~Henri Nouwen
• “The happiest people don’t worry too much about whether life is fair or not, they just get on with it.”  ~Andrew Matthews
• “If we are not happy and joyous at this season, for what other season shall we wait and for what other time shall we look?” ~Abdul-Baha

I have gone on to lose on other business ventures and it is possible I may again but joy is available to me even during the tough times. When I choose to be joyful, I am telling the universe that I am not defined by circumstances. When I say yes to an optimistic, glass always half full type of life, sadness and worry can say hello but I can be confident they will not stay. Developing a resolve for Joy is the best decision any one can make. Will you?