Welcome to Tuesdays with Chel.
“What I like most about change is that it’s a synonym for ‘hope.’ If you are taking a risk, what you are really saying is, ‘I believe in tomorrow and I will be part of it.’ ” – Linda Ellerbee
Changes scares a lot of people. It scares me.
I’m resistant to change- I’ll admit it. As I have said before, I believe with my whole heart that some of us create “boxes” for ourselves to exist in because we *need* to- after turbulent childhoods or trauma, sometimes it’s a really good thing to create boundaries and then live by them.
And change seems to suggest destroying ALL boundaries and switching up everything. And losing everything we have worked so hard for in the process.
Why is it we equate change with “loss”? I have been puzzling over that one for a while.
I started to think about change in terms of the garden. When you plant a seed, it changes by sprouting and growing into a plant, which also changes over and over during its lifetime by growing and, sometimes, blooming or bearing fruit. All through its life cycle, the seed is *still* there. It may have been transformed, but the contents of that seed are still present in that plant. They have just been transformed into something strong and tall and beautiful and beneficial and life-giving.
For the last few months, I have been working really hard on changing my perception of the idea of “change”. Instead of equating it with things being replaced or removed altogether, I have started to try and see change as evolution. Things not being removed, erasing, covered up, etc. but simply gently transforming into *better* things than they already are.
I’ve been trying to see “change” as not the replacement of a situation, but making the current situation even better, even brighter.
But it requires a little bit of non-attachment, of letting go, which is challenging within itself.
But here’s the thing, if we hold on to our “seeds” – such as: good ideas, relationships, approaches, our own core truths and beliefs – they’ll never have the power to grow bigger and better.
And by letting go of those “seeds”, and planting them in the soil of the universe, by letting them go, we allow them to ROOT down, to anchor themselves firmly in the earth and then grow big and strong.
What “seeds” have you been holding on to tightly that you can let go of? For me, it’s creative dreams, relationships, love. I’ve been resisting friendships for years because of some past messiness that makes me scared of other people. I’m working hard on recognizing each “seed” and practicing letting go, just a bit. Seeing what happens.
Maybe we can do it together.
Chel Micheline is a mixed-media artist, curator, writer, and avid gardener/reader/swimmer who lives in Southwest Florida with her husband and daughter. When Chel’s not making art or pondering the Bliss Habits, she’s blogging at gingerblue.com (come say hi!) or posting new things in the gingerblue etsy shop.
You are so right about changing scaring a lot of people – I see it all the time – in fact I grew up with it. I think that’s why I have never really had a problem with change – oh, there are certain areas I’m probably more resistant prone, but overall I love trying new things. I guess that’s why I’ve initiated 4 major career changes in my life.
That’s wonderful! i get nervous about change because I’m terrified it means I have to lose what I have to gain what’s next. So I get attached. But now I am practicing making space- a little at a time- and realizing that the things that matter to me are ROOTED in my life, so they can only evolve and grow, not be taken away.
The change I resisted the most was ending my marriage of 25 years. Afterwards I could not imagine life being good again. The fact that I had been unhappy did not make me feel any better. I still felt that I had lost all emotional and financial support in my life. I was only right about the financial part! I suppose it is natural for there to be some period of grief but I certainly could have done with help coming to terms with the changes.
Thankfully, life has never been better now. I tell myself that I will cope with a major change much better in the future but am going to follow your series with interest – just in case!
I am working on being open to change- with baby steps. I am finding it’s easier to do with a bit of a plan in place- a little bit of a map I can refer to if I get lost along the way. Thanks so much for sharing your story- it’s very moving.
Hi Chel,
your post is fitting right into my present process!
I can relate being reluctant to make new friends.
In my journaling today I became aware of my resistance to letting people get to know me.
I like the way you reframed change as part of evolving.
Abraham-Hicks say we are here for the expansion, so, I suppose change is part of that!
Thank you for your inspiring post!
Love and Light
Yorinda
Thank you, Yorinda! I am the same exact way with new people- I’m very hesitant to take connection to the next level. I don’t know what it is – I think I’m afraid people will use up my energy. It’s definitely something to explore.