Poetry and A Life Well Lived

This past week, when January sent a few poems for my consideration on the topic of hapfull, I immediately thought “Why Choose?” The entire collection speaks to what I believe every one of January’s poems does, the living of a hapfull life!

 

I only know January through her poetry. She reached out offering to write on the Bliss Topics and enclosed a poem (you can read here) with the line “Make my movements in the world worthy of my rare existence.” and I knew upon reading it that I wanted her wisdom to be a part of Bliss Habits.

Over the past two years, as her poetry leaked details of her life, a divorce, her mother’s illness, daughter’s wedding, as well as regular lumbering days, I have become more and more enchanted by this lovely woman. With her heart pointed toward joy and the sagacity to notice the tiniest of ripples around her, she makes me want my movements to be worthy too!

She describes her life this way: I have been lucky in life to say I’m a mostly happy person, who embraces the moment…Blissful moments mean to me what Rumi says in his poem “The guesthouse“…its when we embrace the wholeness of existence that we are “whole-heartedly” happy. My common percentage of 80% happy and 20% not so happy, really means that the 20% really makes the 80% illuminated, real and with true savoring…and I hope that shows up in my art.

Yes indeed it does! I would call it overflowing with being alive, illuminating a truly hapfull life! So thank you January, for sharing yourself so fully with us!

Gratitude

Sometimes I am afraid
To really touch it,
To really surrender
to the vast
Beauty
The unspeakable miracles,
The warmth on the skin
The heavenly smells
The deep satisfaction
Of the way the ocean
Never stops crashing
Herself upon the shores
Of our souls

I know when I do,
I dissolve into it
And tears run down my face
And vibrations take my body
And joy becomes the wholeness
Of the moment

And I get nothing done
No doing is possible
I might just shake
Apart into the beams
Of sunshine and moonshine
Misty fog
And billowing cloud
Mountain, meadow, trees and green lush plants

I am still trying to figure out how to hold
That much gratitude
For this moment of LOVE.

I speak my dreams

I speak my dreams and in
The saying of them
While still groggy with sleep
I often know
What each symbol
Relates to in my waking mind

He reminds me that it
Is OK to stay in process
To not seek to analyze
Or wrap up the mystery
In a package of “I know”

As it is in the “unknowing”
That the space abides
For the deepest living
Of the
Delicious
Often achingly
Beautiful
Incredibly powerful
unfolding moment

 

We are in Kauai

A silly rooster crows
Reminding my body
That this is not my time…

We are in Kauai,
For mama it appears to be her last tripLeaving her house now
Causes such stringent
Anxiety
She becomes restless
Inconsolable
Afraid

It is deepened by her
Losses
Her partnership,
friendships and
Relationships that
Are now in memory only

As we tour around,
At my insistence and need
To see her as still mobile and alive,
I glance over to see her not looking
At the landscape,
Dull in eyes, trembling in movement
Wishing for rest and no challenges
And my heart aches
With a pin-pointed throb

This is not the mama
Who I knew
Who embraced life
Laughed easily
Emanated a constant curiosity
And vitality
Of being

I take a moment to
Feel sorry for myself
This is no vacation
And her need for constant care
And reassurance
Surpasses what I gave
My young children
Who trusted
That what felt unknown
And new
Was as it should be,
Was being held by the
More experienced

Yet here her spark yet lives-
She still catches fire
When engaged with other beings
When seeing their light
She still gladly offers hers
And the reflection of who
They truly are…
She still hugs everyone
Still leaves behind
A residue of joy
I watch as people
Still fall immediately in love
With her humor
Her intent gaze
And her huge heart

I return to my vow
To embrace whatever
This moment brings
And the gratitude I have
For being allowed to
Come through her.

 

Circular

I know I am Her,
the Goddess,
when the words
for another come
tumbling out,
and I get out of the way
of myself
and just be
and both,
me the speaker-goddess,
and you,
the listener-goddess,
hold the beloved
in the circular
exchange
of our being

 

What we choose

We try to avoid the pain that cuts us
the pain that cracks our broken heart
wide open,
We duck,
We creep,
We hold back
We silence

And our heart bleeds
slowly anyway,
still cries out in the loneliness
that misses our wholeness-
our completentess

Meanwhile
Every where
Every every where
Infinite Joy and love
wait
to remind us of the
abundance of life,
of living with senses
wide open
and
sniffing into our depth,
feeling each shift/layer/variation
of expression and understanding,
listening beyond our ears to the
vibrations that provide a chorus
of sweet soothing, and invigorating
ladders to climb
toward the estatic
release,
surrender to
The Will
that paces our own
with the same
or greater
patience
and deep attention
that
we give our own creations,
this unabashed affection
toward our every choice
our every breath
is embued with
the opportunity of
blissful
reunion

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Many thanks go out to Tamara for her hapfull eye through the camera lens!

Tamara Magnitsky

Tamara Magnitsky, a child of the wild blue yonder,
has been an ardent student and advocate for poetry, photography and excellence in general.
She is the mother of a daughter and a beloved wife.
She can be found most days.

Bio written by Cary Brosius ~Tamara’s husband  🙂

 

January Handl

January Handl is first and always a mother, has been a preschool teacher and parent educator for 25 years. She is currently the Director/head teacher at Gazebo Park School, and lives at Esalen Institute in Big Sur. She lives simply in awe of existence.

She calls her photo “hot tub bliss”  🙂