* Note: This was originally posted in Everyday Bliss, the blog before Bliss Habits – Please enjoy!
From It’s a Small World Ride Photo by “Disney Philip”
I’ve been hopping around the internet looking for tips or tools that will help us experience more serenity. I had an idea to possibly share the top five ways to inject Serenity or something like that when I stumbled across this: “see the glass as already broken!” then it all clicked! The number one reason I find serenity so allusive is that I am always expecting perfection. Not necessarily physical perfection, as that statement implies but perfection in how things are SUPPOSED to feel, look, be enjoyed etc.
Case in point, the other day Sweets was talking about the It’s a Small World ride and how much she liked the African jungle part of the ride when I came up with the inspired idea to recreate that jungle right in our home. We strung ribbon across our living room. Made leaves and flowers. In no time we had quite the display.
Then very quickly I hatched a vision of an entire week of fun projects. We could make the leaves and flowers today. Tomorrow we can hang birds and other fun stuff (notice the party blower The Girl added!) and the next day would be butterflies and other bugs the next… I imagined “playing jungle” for days and singing “It’s a Small World,” reading jungle related books… a whole cornucopia of activities that would keep ME and The Girl interested in playing together.
What actually happened is we got as far as you see in the first photo and then Sweets started asking things like, “When can we pull it down mommy?” and “I want to cut more mommy, PLEASE can I cut more??”
I spent the next day protecting my vision. “Please don’t pull on it! Let’s keep it up for Daddy to see!” Frankly it wasn’t all that fun. Finally I relented and let The Girl cut to her hearts content. It wasn’t nearly as bad I thought. She really was quite deliberate in her cutting and we had a good half hour of cutting fun until she eyed the strings! And after the first string fell cry’s to “fix it mommy” rang out and we hung it back up.
By not protecting it I had allowed Sweets to see the consequences of her actions AND it relieved so much pressure. I supposedly did this for her fun but when I got committed to how I wanted things to go it stopped being fun for either of us.
At this point in time a few strings remain. We may or may not add to them and next time she asks “When can we pull it down?” I will happily say “How about right now?!”
So how about you? Where have you gotten committed to things being a certain way? What would happen if you let go of that? What if you approached already expecting things to go differently?
Disappointments are always possible but if we expect them and look at the glass as already broken it might very well be possible to enjoy what ever actually shows up.
Ahhh now that sounds serene!
[Inspiration for this post came from reading “A Beautiful Method to Find Peace of Mind” over at the Zen Habits website. Do check it out for even more tension relieving insights!]
What a wonderful, magical jungle! This is the stuff of memories. She will remind you of this for years to come. My son, now a teenager, often reminds me of the giant pirate ship made out of a refrigerator box for his 4th birthday party. Bravo!
Thank you so much! I do hope she remembers it fondly!
Glad you reposted this – I have few memories of fun with my girls – because I needed things to be my way. I got cross and frustrated if things were not how I thought they should be and would either take over or do it myself. I still do this at times – but my girls are grown up now so there’s less chance of mess (or non-perfection). Do you think it’s too late to let go? I hope not!
It is NEVER too late!