“Everything is a gift of the universe – even joy, anger, jealously, frustration, or separateness. Everything is perfect either for our growth or our enjoyment.” ~Ken Keyes Jr
Around here I tend to focus on the positive. “Cultivating delight,” the tag line of this blog certainly implies an optimistic approach, however today as we begin our week of inquiry, I want to discuss the other side of life. You know, the things we’d rather not think about strife, conflict, poverty, greed, meanness, outrage etc., in short all the places that make us angry or uncomfortable.
Go ahead, take a minute and think about them.
- Let your blood boil a little bit as you consider the rude guy who cut you off in some line or another.
- Think about the injustice of poverty and the abominable way in which our political systems try to address these facts.
- Consider that 100+ species disappear from the earth everyday and the continued deforestation around the globe will likely increase that number.
- Think about your own home and the amount of plastic and garbage you send to the landfill every year.
- Remember a time when you chose to make a final dig in an argument rather then choosing kindness.
Think about all of it.
Pretty soon one can get pretty depressed eh?
But what if I told you that these very things, the annoying, hard to live with and confrontational things are really the source of your true joy?
Think about it. If nothing ever made you angry you wouldn’t have much cause to look at things differently. We could blissfully float along enjoying every minute without care or concern. In a pretty short space of time I believe you’d actually be pretty bored. There would be nothing for you to do.
In his delightful children’s parable, The Little Soul and the Sun, Neal Donald Walsch speaks to this very thing. In his story a little soul considers what it wants to be (light, love, compassion, joy) and learns that in order to experience this, the opposite (dark, hate, anger, sadness) have to exist for the little soul to BE what it wanted to be. In the end of the story God asks the little soul to remember that everyone, and I will add everything, is an angel here to remind us of who we want to be.
Extrapolate this into our day to day lives, it is the very things that cause our ire which shine a light on who we are. I am easily angered by a woman with a straw and a haughty contemptible man showing my true concerns for environmental responsibility and my belief that all people, including service professionals, should be treated respectfully. If I were never angered, I wouldn’t have access to the opportunities to do or at least feel something I consider very important.
You’ve likely heard the adage “Necessity is the Mother of Invention,” I’d like to suggest that it is generally an uncomfortable, annoying, even rage inducing sittuation that encourages the majority of invention. If people weren’t saddened by disease and illness, there would be little impetus for trying to cure it.
So consider your life. Where ever things are NOT as you might wish them to be consider these things your “angels.” These very spots are telling you the exact places your soul is asking to light. These uncomfortable nooks tell us where growth and new understanding are possible. An inquiry into these very spots can set you on the road to finding and living your greatest joys if you don’t fear them.
As we enter this week, a week of Inquiry here at Bliss Habits, these are the places I am going. The dark, the uncomfortable, contemptible and messy. I am clear the real joy is on the other side. Bliss requires its opposite for full enjoyment.
Will you be joining me?
I a huge fan of the reframe, and this is a really important one. Another twist on it is the idea that whatever we don’t like about something or someone is the flip side of a positive aspect. For example, you may chafe sometimes if you feel like your spouse is a stick-in-the-mud, but it’s that same quality that, on the flip side, makes them stable and reliable.
The dark side of life is worth exploring. Thanks for this reminder to do that, rather than avoiding it in the pursuit of bliss. 🙂
Thanks for the “flip side” comment Sue! That is something I also should be considering in a bunch of places!
The dark side always has a gift. Always & all ways 🙂
So tricky that everything always is, eh?
A thousand YESes!
And when focusing on the positive doesn’t ignore or deny those “annoying, hard to live with and confrontational things” it is beautiful indeed!!
Karen, I’m so delighted this resonated with you!
It takes courage and strength to face things like this, to hold them in our awareness. You are a beautiful person for bringing them to the forefront, for acknowledging their necessity. The dark has its own beauty…and yes, wise woman, everything and everyone can be our teacher. (Including you) 🙂
Thank you for featuring untold sorrows… I truly appreciate it. My mind unfortunately or fortunately operates in a manner which is kind of on the conceptual side.. I find that I like some darkness , sometimes I am a bit too comfortable with it. In my shop you will find several things on the darker side nonetheless, it is mostly the fiber of my being. But it does seem to do well in my shop. Thanks again so much sister
Thrilled to share it! Thank you so much for stopping by!!!
Thank you once again Kathy! This reminds me of the fish that doesn’t understand the concept of wetness – even though he lives his life in water – because he never experiences dryness. We can’t appreciate what is good if we never experience the bad!
This resonates today…I am working on getting curious, and turning toward the darkness and pain, instead of away. By welcoming shadow I find myself understanding myself more, and feeling more compassionate toward others. It also helps me to move forward despite pain, or inconvenience, etc- being curious instead of fearful, or acknowledging my less-than-stellar responses to bring them into the light of consciousness. Then, being curious when I fall short of those same ideals! thanks, for the repost, Kathy!