Just THRILLED to have the moxilicious Sandi Amorim back with us today. You may remember when she rocked the house with How to Reclaim Your Moxie, in which she shared several ways to get your moxie groove on and then followed up with the keys to her Moxie kingdom.
Today she is here to set the record straight for SNARK. Enjoy!!
I recently spoke with a friend on the topic of power, and I realized that for me powser has always been related to being able to communicate in a very clear and direct way. Add my quirky sense of humour to the mix and you have my personal definition of snark.
Kathy says snark is giving a voice to the the feisty, straight talking beacon of authenticity within us.
The Urban Dictionary says that snark is a witty mannerism, personality, or behavior that is a combination of sarcasm and cynicism; usually accepted as a complimentary term.
Snark is sometimes mistaken for a snotty or arrogant attitude, and yes, it can absolutely go this way. I’ve heard it and been guilty of it myself (when I was a kid my mom would say I was being snippy!)
So you can see it’s a slippery slope to the darker side of snark.
But what if we could intentionally develop snark in the way Kathy describes?
What if we could use snark for good, not evil?
Would you be interested in giving voice to your feisty, straight talkin’ self?
And then I wondered, what do I have in my bag of tricks to help you unleash your sadly suppressed snark?
It must be obvious by now that I think snark gets a bad rap. I’m about to do my part to restore its good name.
What’s needed is a tool to help you check in because like many things, snark is neither good nor bad. It’s the energy behind it that makes the difference.
“A little snark, properly directed, can change the world.” – Shannon Hale
Let’s go back to the qualities listed in the definitions above: feisty, straight talking, witty, quirky, sarcastic, and cynical.
And let’s say that snark is made up of:
- 80% feisty, straight talking, witty and quirky
- 20% sarcastic and cynical
Oh yeah, the ol’ 80/20 rule, something we can wrap our heads around and measure.
But how do we measure these qualities, you might be asking yourself?
As always, it starts with noticing
Imagine the best quality of snark on the positive end of this line (let’s say feisty) and the worst quality on the other end (let’s say cynical.)
How to direct your snark:
Step 1: Notice where you are on the line.
Step 2: What’s the emotion you’re feeling? ie: feisty, sarcastic, playful, etc. Name it.
Step 3: Notice where you are in relation to where you want to be. Are you really over their in negative snark land? Or are you closer to the middle, neutral ground – what I call coach position?
Step 4: What one action would move you towards your feisty, straight talkin’ self?
Step 5: Go take that action.
See the thing we most often miss is that we don’t have to be victims of our emotions. As soon you become aware of where you are on the line, you can begin to move in the opposite direction.
You return yourself to power and choice – and snark if that’s what turns your crank!
And then? You can choose to be the most feisty, straight talkin’ you ever.
Can it be that simple?
Yes, it can.
A simple tool like this can break up patterns and stories that keep you stuck…if you use it.
This wasn’t what I thought I’d write about when it came to snark, but you know…as a snark connoisseur who’d love to have others experience the joy of it, I figured it’s what was needed!
Over to You:
What’s your experience of snark?
What do you see about using this tool?
(note: Sandi is currently away, perhaps even contemplating Snark, at a Silent Retreat until Monday 11/5 so any comments will be replied to by her at that time!)
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Sandi Amorim is a Coach and Writer on a mission to obliterate ‘someday’ thinking from the face of the earth. She’s out to wake people up to what’s important in life, and does so with over a decade of training and experience as a Solution Focused Coach and NLP Practitioner. She can be found sharing her slightly mad twist on personal development at Deva Coaching.
I’m not a fan of snark, and I think it’s because of that tricky 20% that’s sarcastic and cynical. It has an edge I just don’t like — probably because I’ve strayed to that edge way too often in my checkered past. And when I lapsed into sarcastic and cynical, I was actually straying away from authenticity. I was hedging my bets with the sarcasm and cynicism in an attempt to avoid direct confrontation. It also kept people at arm’s length quite effectively.
As for the other 80% of snarky, I can get behind everything it represents — feisty, straight-talking, witty, quirky, authentic. What’s not to love, right? So I think I’ll take my snarky with just a dash of sarcasm and cynicism on the side. Like hot sauce, for me a little bit goes a long way.
Haha, it’s totally like hot sauce and will sting like hell if used indiscriminately! Shifting to the more positive aspects of snark isn’t that hard; it really starts with awareness. As soon as you locate yourself on the line you’re no longer at the effect, but can choose to move in the other direction and leave that 20% behind 😉
Wow…I get the 80%/20% rule… although snark has been a tough one for me too, as I’m usually not too feisty or sarcastic. But there’s always that moment when something happens and the scales are tip… Now I know what steps to take! This was fun, Sandi!
Great to hear Tracy! What I love about that simple exercise is that it can be used to shift ANY emotion! Best tool ever to keep in your back pocket 😉
Wow Sandi! Well said! I was also kind of amazed at the similarities in our writing about Snark.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your piece!
Great minds think alike Linda 😉
Great post! Around these parts I am officially known as Queen Snark, but my closest friends and family just call me Bitch…Thanks for the tips…with a nickname like that, maybe I should take them to heart…lol
Babe In Total Control of Herself 😉