How humility can help you grow a lot faster

Today’s guest post comes to us from Alejandro Reyes of Enso Journey. I am just thrilled to have him back with us. Some of you may recall his lovely post from last JOY week when I introduced him. What I didn’t say then, which I should have as it continues to astound me, is that Alejandro writes his blog, and this guest post in English which is not his native tongue. Truly remarkable, especially when I learned that it was only a couple of years ago when he decided to try it! He is truly a marvel! Enjoy his wisdom.

 

 

When you hear the word humility usually you would picture someone who does a lot for others, accepts their mistakes and usually they put others first. That’s how a humble person should be, or at least that’s the ideal view in our eyes.

I just see one problem with that definition, how are you supposed to put others first and help with their needs if you have not met your own? Seems a bit difficult, let’s be honest here, you have your own problems, and above that you have to put others first? Sounds like inviting stress into your life, and that’s not what Bliss Habits is about.

Fortunately, if we dig a little bit deeper into humility we can find the truth is a bit different, so subtle that we may not perceive it. A humble person puts herself first. Yes, and I’m not crazy, a humble person understands that she needs to be well to be able to help others.

I would even go further and narrow it down, a humble person just knows how to get things done, that way she is free to help others finish their stuff. If a group of people has a problem, the humble one will find the answer, solve their problem and then help others do it. And if she can’t do it by herself she will ask for help. That sounds a lot more manageable.

Of course each time I tried to share this view, I would get a lot of funny looks (perhaps you have it right now). So, as a part of my search for the virtues of a modern warrior, I started looking for the true meaning of humility.

In search for humility

When I started to look for the meaning of humility, I found an insane amount of views on it. There was some truly complex and crazy views on it, but every book I took in my hands told the same at the end. It’s good to be humble, it’s a virtue. Thankfully I stumbled on this definition in a very old book (that was already laying down in my room gathering dust):

“Therefore the (ruling) sage acts without claiming the results as his; he achieves his merit and does not rest (arrogantly) in it;揺e does not wish to display his superiority”. 裕ao Te Ching

Interesting, right? That means that someone humble (the ruling sage) can get things done, it doesn’t matter if it’s for others or for herself, it means you accomplish something and can be happy with the victory, but you understand that it’s not something you possess and show off. It means you get things done and you are happy because you did it.

When you remove the idea that humility involves your relationship with others, it becomes something a lot easier to achieve. And that is the whole trick to humility, the more you think about it, the farther you are from it.

Someone truly humble doesn’t think that she is going to be humble, or that this action will make it look more humble, that sounds to me more like the fastest way to arrogance.

Don’t hope for recognition

Since you are removing the idea of how your actions will make you look in the eyes of your peers, then there is no need for recognition. You are doing your best because you should always do your best (and that very best is different today from tomorrow) not because your best means you are going to be praised.

This doesn’t mean you should send people flying just because they value your accomplishments. It means that you are not going to let your ego become so big that the world starts orbiting it.

If you don’t hope for recognition, you can receive all the praise in the world without letting your ego grow one bit. That’s because the ego grows because it’s waiting for it’s prize, be it kind words, money or any other thing. Since you remove recognition from the equation, you can receive anything with fresh eyes and a clear mind. And that means everything that you get from your actions become feedback.

Humility allows you to grow

When you start walking the humble path, you understand one thing. People are not trying to get you down, every comment about you, becomes feedback.

Now that the need for a result is out of the way and you are not hoping to be praised, every word you get after you do something becomes a powerful source of information to help you grow. If it’s praise it means you did your best and you helped someone else. If people are criticizing your work, now you understand that it’s not a personal attack, it’s just another form of feedback and you can use it to grow.

That’s why a humble person seems to always be able to say “thank you”, no matter what kind of feedback she got. It’s because you are grateful for the opportunity to see your work through the eyes of someone else.

Turning you into a sage

The last part is the hardest one, but if you managed to get this far, you are already in the way to become a sage. And no, you don’t need a long white beard and a walking stick, unless you like the look, then it’s ok.

All the theory in the world about humility won’t make you humble, you need to let go of all the concepts and start doing your best in all situations without hoping for recognition and without making remarks about it.

That’s what humility is all about, giving your very best in every endeavor and be happy with it. It doesn’t matter if it’s a success or a failure. You are happy with the results because there is nothing to regret. You did your best.

It’s time to go and practice now, do your best out there, it doesn’t matter if it’s for you or for others. You know, that the victory it’s always for everyone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m Alejandro, but you can call me Alex. For a long time I have been a passionate student of life. Writing has been one of the best ways I found to share my thoughts. I’m a web designer and developer, and a full time geek and amateur calligrapher. I like videogames as much as folding origami or writing a good article. I find that I can learn from everything, I’m a student of the world and I will always be.

I have seen some of the best things in this world being born from the worst situations. I lost a girlfriend when I was young, and I learned to love unconditionally because, well you never know. And recently I lost a great friend who taught me to be a warrior everyday.

I write for Enso Journey, and I love to share my journey with the world, perhaps my mistakes can teach other people not to make them. If you want to keep in touch with me, you can add me to google+ or twitter.