Change is coming… Are you OK with that?

 

In my own life, there have been many many changes. Some have been welcome, some not so much. I have struggled with both. It would be easy to say that some were good and others were bad, but that’s too simplistic.

Change can MOVE us FORWARD…

On the horizon, we can see a brighter day. Maybe the shift will be relatively easy – or – maybe there will be intense work involved, but the benefits are readily apparent. We know that we will grow, or life will be better in some way. We look forward to transformation, which sounds a lot like alchemy.

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and
work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness.
Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will
cause your angels to sing.”
~ August Wilson

Change is also about LETTING GO and MAKING ROOM.

Sometimes changes sounds and feels like something I’m taking apart. One connotation I have with “make change” is taking apart a dollar: even if I spend some, I still have something left over clanking around in my pockets. Change can be especially challenging, or even brutal, especially when we didn’t choose the change for ourself. When a loved one passes suddenly, or we lose a job, or when we ourselves are diagnosed with a debilitating or acute illness, finding the silver lining can seem next to impossible. Life as we knew it is kind of over.

“Everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it.”
~ David Foster Wallace

More often, though, Change is a bit of a trade off: we relinquish something and we gain something simultaneously. We trade single-hood for marriage, childlessness for children. We leave our old comfortable life in order to chase our biggest dreams. We release old habits and thought patterns in order to find peace in our heart and clarity in our mind. We weigh the risks and challenges and benefits and make our choices. There is an inherent exchange of energy and purpose as we move through life.

Every change begins and ends with a change in viewpoint / perspective.

Every change has something to teach, if we are willing to learn.

In the illustration above, the quote begins with “Open to Grace” 
but, what does that really mean?

To Trust: in the basic goodness of life
To Allow: to approach life and changes with an open heart and open mind
To Let Go: of old beliefs, of old habits of thought or action

When we are striving to manifest something new, opening to grace means being gentle with our self; we are like little children learning something new. Manifestation takes time and patience and compassion toward ourselves as well as perseverance, stamina and determination. Things don’t often plop into our lap or change overnight ~ sometimes it’s two steps forward, one step back as we cha-cha forward in fits and starts. Intention and mindfulness are need to hold fast to our path, to our dream, to growth and healing, to not cave in the face of adversity. Sometimes the biggest struggle is fending off the temptation to slide back into the old ways.

We are charting a new course! We may mess up. We may utterly fail.
Can we be supportive of ourself?
Can we find the courage to “keep on keeping on?”

Sometimes things do plop into our lap; we receive some boon. Sometimes the dump truck of life releases it’s load of shit right on our front lawn. I have come to believe that all things in our life are blessings, even if we can’t see it right away, even when change forces us to let go of something we aren’t anywhere near ready to hand over. All changes, ultimately, in the end, when viewed with hindsight (sometimes it’s the only way) bring benefit to us in some way large or small. Either way, can we perceive our circumstances with grace? Can we not argue with the reality of what is happening and instead keep an open mind and heart and find the lesson, the bonus? Can we not resist, but allow?

Note, allowance does not equal acceptance ~ it really just means that we are not arguing with reality. It doesn’t mean that we can’t change what’s happening, we can. Yet, by first allowing, we take a small pause and give our self a little time and space to fully acknowledge what’s happening so that we can respond with intelligence and intention instead of knee-jerk reaction (action or shut-down).

Changes can be small or big, subtle or profound. Begin each day with baby steps. Again, I find myself thinking of Rilke and his invitation to live everything, to live the questions themselves until one day you find yourself living into the answers.

“What if I told you that ten years from now, your life would be exactly the same?

I doubt you’d be happy.

So why are you so afraid of change?”

~ Karen Salmansohn

yeah, exactly.

~Invitation ~

Change is inevitable…

What happens when you resist? when you argue with reality?
How do we resist? Making excuses? Procrastinating?
Negating/denying the importance/benefit (“it won’t really matter if I do/don’t make this change”)?
Choosing short term happiness or ease over the long term benefit?

What happens when I accept and flow with the changes that come my way?