Welcome to Bliss for Business! If you’re an entrepreneur, small business owner, or career-driven individual, tune in on Wednesdays to join Dani on an adventure to learn how to bring your work life in harmony with the thirteen Bliss Habits.
The jingle of a bell sounds the arrival of a new customer. The shop-owner comes from the back, bedecked in an apron, and greets his customer by name. They chat about the spouse and kids, the customer makes her purchase, and both parties leave with a smile on their face and a little warmer in their heart.
Business of a bygone age, right?
After all, this is the age of never-ending phone trees, of outsourced support teams, of fly-by-night internet businesses with no phone numbers or office hours, of disconnect and distance, and the cold (yet efficient) reality of email and online shopping.
In 2012, Is there room for kindness in business? Can businesses not only survive, but thrive, with a focus on kindness, both inside and out?
I’ve worked in businesses large and small, hung out on a few rungs of the corporate ladder, and owned four businesses over the last ten years – and I say that not only is it possible, it’s critical.
Because people will notice. Customers will notice. If you are kind, if you are truly kind, your company’s kindness can be an incredible asset, the thing that gets you noticed and keeps them coming back for more. But the thing about kindness is that you can’t fake it. It’s not a PR move or a marketing campaign. You can try, of course, and businesses have – but it doesn’t work and it’s never sustainable unless you’re in it for the right reasons.
So how do you foster a culture of kindness, without sacrificing efficiency or profitability? It’s not about remembering everyone’s name, or about giving away your brilliant product without trade or exchange. It’s about taking small steps, making small changes to the way you interact with others (and yourself!), incorporating kindness into your day-to-day.
Begin with kindness to others…
Clients. Colleagues. Co-workers. Bosses. Staff. Contractors and consultants. And, yes, even the person at the end of the long phone tree asking you if you’ve tried turning it off and on again. Even when they’re nasty, even when they’re unhelpful, kindness begins with you.
Assume the best, rather than the worst, in everyone around you. You don’t know what this person has going on in their world, and too often we assume that they’re purposely being unhelpful or unkind. Assume that they’re trying. Believe that they’re in it for good reasons. Show them a little kindness, and maybe they’ll show some in return.
“Don’t wait for people to be friendly. Show them how.” (Unknown)
Breathe and ask for clarification. This follows closely on assuming the best, but if you find yourself snapping, frustrated, or feeling unkind, first take a deep breath to calm and center yourself. Then ask for clarification: “When you say X, do you mean Y?” You may be speaking the same language, but we hear and mean different things based on our experiences – asking for clarification is the only way to know for certain that you’re both on the same page.
Be universally kind. This is, perhaps, the hardest kindness of all, because it means releasing your own biases, being kind to those whose policies you do not agree with, whose ideas you may find wrong or offensive. Tolerance is kind. Acceptance is kinder. Sharing space is kindest of all.
…but don’t forget kindness to self!
Outwardly directed kindness is only the first step in creating a business or work environment rooted in kindness. It’s the most visible, for certain, but it is incredibly unsustainable unless you turn a bit of that kindness inward. Because it’s not about giving away the farm, making no money, or being a doormat – kindness is not whole unless it’s universal, and that includes you.
Be kind to yourself when you’re giving away too much, whether that’s free advice, your personal time, or energy that’s best directed elsewhere. It may feel counterintuitive to say “no” when focusing on kindness, but spreading yourself too thin, saying yes to the wrong things, is not kind to you or the people you interact with. Limiting the times you say yes allows you to devote your best self to those situations – and what is kinder than that?
Listen to yourself and ask for support when you need it. Find other business owners or colleagues to talk to. Bring in an outside point of view, someone to help you see where changes can be made, where you can better support yourself or others, where doors can be opened or closed.
—
Observing these kindnesses in your business can not only help you differentiate yourself, it can easily create a better, happier, more productive environment for you and your clients or colleagues.
What are your experiences with kindness in business? Do you struggle with kindness during the work day, or find yourself ignoring kindness to self and trying to give everything away? Share your thoughts in the comments!
—
Hi! I’m Dani. I’m a writer, teacher, business coach, and signal-booster, and I’m on a mission to help you make your business more awesome, more successful, and more you. (With tea. Tea is always good.)
Join me for resources, wicked wisdom, and other good things at daninelson.com!
This was such a beautiful reminder! Much food for thought to keep in my as I fledgling creative biz starts taking flight. Love was the starting point for my shop, for all the I create, and I try to always keep love and kindness in the forefront in all dealings with others…including myself. Some days are harder than others…but I keep coming back to the love. :o)
Keep coming back to the love, Tracy, and you can’t go wrong! 🙂
Lovely post. One of numerous statements that stuck with me. It is the epitome of kindness – “Assume the best, rather than the worst, in everyone around you.” It stuck with me because I see it violated so frequently. I’m thinking of writing on my forehead for a day or so.
So glad you enjoyed, Michael! Assuming the best – what I call Universal Awesomeness – is one of my favorite bits of love and wisdom to spread. The more we’re kind to each other (and ourselves!), the more things shift in good (but subtle) ways! 🙂
Hi Dani,
I couldn’t agree more with you. I think kindness is a particularly difficult concept for many businesses to understand simply because it can be very difficult to quantify the impact. Especially since, in some cases “kindness” may appear to actually contradict profits (in the short term). But I for one am a huge believer that when you provide people with genuine real value because you really care about them (hence-kindness) that is a difference maker that over time can create a profitable business.
You hit a really critical point, Izzy, and that’s the focus on Return on Investment. Not everything has a measurable (or immediate) ROI, but the things that don’t are often the things that can differentiate a business, make it a favored, go-to place. It’s in the face of those non-ROI decisions that we need to remember why we’re here in the first place – do we want to be remembered as profitable, or as an awesome person/company to do business with?
So glad you enjoyed!