Eating Humble Pie – a guest blogger post by BLissed-Out Grandma

*Note: This post originally appeared in Everyday Bliss, the blog before Bliss Habits. Please enjoy.

So happy to introduce Nancy, also known as BLissed-Out Grandma is today’s Humility guest blogger. If you don’t know her already, do hop on over to her terrific blog and be ready to be wowed. Without further ado, here is Nancy:

Eating Humble Pie

It wasn’t until quite late in life that I discovered how easy it is to say “I don’t know!” —Somerset Maugham

The most difficult time for me to be humble is when I’m angry and I’m arguing a point. I don’t want to back down; I want to win. I may stop listening to the other person because I’m too busy planning what I’m going to say next.

A while back I worked with someone I thought was lazy, incompetent, and making bad decisions for the organization. I was often angry. I battled, I mocked, I rolled my eyes in frustration. Then one day I decided maybe I didn’t have all the answers. Maybe I’m wrong about this particular detail. And even if I’m right, maybe I should behave as if I COULD be wrong. I didn’t have to stop believing in myself, or advocating my point of view, but I could approach things another way.

The minute I decided to allow for the possibility of being wrong, two things happened. One, my anger softened. I was still frustrated, but I was willing to listen and consider, and that took the heat out of my rage. Two, I felt better about myself. I felt like I was operating on a higher level. Not better than others, but better than my own self just the day before.

Swallow your pride occasionally, it’s non-fattening! —Author Unknown

I’m not an arrogant person; I’m often too self-effacing (that’s a post for a whole ‘nother day!). But when I’m feeling threatened and pride becomes my defense, I try to call upon better behaviors:

Give up the need to be right. I try to remind myself that being right doesn’t always make me the winner. There is often a better answer, one that accommodates conflicting needs and unforeseen factors.

Let down your guard and look for a shared solution. Practice asking what others think. When you do put forth your opinion, ask for feedback and receive it with an open mind. Remember that the process is often at least as important as the answer.

Apologize—and forgive. It’s hard to apologize. Sometimes I’ll strike up a superficial happy conversation and leave thinking I’ve smoothed things over. But if I haven’t apologized, we are both likely to remain uncomfortable. Better to be humble enough to say, “I’m sorry.” And when the shoe is on the other foot, “I forgive you.”

Remember that humility is not the enemy of self-esteem. I believe we must nurture in ourselves and our children a deep appreciation of our gifts and talents, and a confidence in our ability to do great things. We should not use “humility” as an excuse to be timid or self-limiting. We should aim to excel at whatever we do, and be humble enough to know that we won’t be perfect.

It is always the secure who are humble. —Gilbert Keith Chesterton

—Nancy, aka Blissed-Out Grandma