I shared a pumpkin. What will you share?

Once again, I am delighted to have Chel Micheline contributing to Bliss Habits. Her post on “Redefining Gratitude” got right to the heart of Gratitude week and I am certain you will say “she’s done it again!  with today’s post. Here to share her insights into this weeks tricky wander in the land of humility, I give you Chel:

 

See the above photo? See that tiny pumpkin sitting in my daughter’s hands?

That pumpkin grew in my garden.

Now, I must admit, as I sat and typed that simple sentence, I started worrying that someone out there will think I am boasting about my pumpkin-growing prowess. That someone might think I assume I am an awesome gardener because a plant in my garden produced a pumpkin.

As all this goes through my head, I start to think “maybe I just won’t talk about the pumpkin at all, because I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about me.”

That’s a whole lot of agonizing over a SIX WORD SENTENCE, isn’t it?! But such is the struggle with humility.

The truth is, I DID grow that pumpkin. I didn’t do it alone- the sun shone, the soil protected and nourished, the bees did a great job pollinating, and the water hydrated that little plant until a pumpkin formed and took shape. But the pumpkin did grow in my garden.

And I don’t have any misconceptions about that particular pumpkin (it’s not the prettiest pumpkin, the largest pumpkin, the tastiest pumpkin) or my gardening skills (people grow pumpkins all the time). But the truth is that the pumpkin came from my garden.

So, by sharing the news of my pumpkin, am I boasting? All I really said was that I grew a pumpkin. And in some ways, if I didn’t tell you about this pumpkin, I might be doing both you and me a great disservice. Let me try to explain why.

Individualism is a fairly new approach to living. Many cultures consist of very tight communities in which each person has a specific function, contributing as much as possible by doing whatever she or he is skilled at, trained in, or interested in.

Some people can build things, some people can create things, some people can grow things, some happen to enjoy caring for children, and some are interested caring for others and keeping their community healthy. And the list goes on.

Now, suppose that the guy who knows how to build a really great structure never steps forward to share his skill because he’s worried that it might seem boastful? Suppose the woman who is wonderful at growing an abundant food supply was so humble she never volunteered to contribute to the garden that sustains her community?

Unless each of those people steps forward and shares her/his ability with one another, how will the community know who they can turn to when something needs to be done?

I think when we hide the good stuff from the world, we do a great disservice to both the original concept of humility AND to our connections with other people. As Marianne Williamson said, “Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine [a]nd as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

I can’t tell you how many times people have approached me and asked “you’re an artist, right?” I live in a small tourist community and some of my artwork is sold in local galleries. Even if I truly don’t believe I’m very good at it, the truth is that my work is out there.

But when I’m asked that question, instead of telling the truth, and owning my passion, I automatically find myself answering with “no, not really” or “I’m just messing around” because I don’t want people to think I have an inflates sense of my own abilities. Maybe I’m even afraid if I say “yes, I am an artist”, someone might reply “no, you’re not! You’re a fraud and your work is crap!!”

So I just say “no, not really… I’m not really an artist” And you know what? I can’t count the times the response from the person asking the question has been “oh, that’s too bad because I was wondering if I could have your advice about materials” or “oh, that’s strange because I love your work and wanted to find out about a custom order” or “oh, I was wondering if you could share some info about jewelry making with me.”

And then I have to backtrack (which usually makes me sound like a big flake) and it becomes so much more confusing than it would be if I just answered honestly to begin with.

If I would just be honest about what my passion is, and stopped worrying about other people’s perceptions of that honesty, maybe I could share my little store of knowledge with another person. Maybe I could inspire someone to go out and explore their gift, their passion, and make a go of it. I might not be changing the world, or inspiring a lot of people, but maybe something I share could be the spark that lights another person’s flame. Maybe that person will then change the world. Who really knows?

Humility is important. But the key to humility is honesty and authenticity about *all* the parts of ourselves- the bad AND the good.

It’s OKAY to tell someone what your passion is. If you’ve put authentic effort and focus into your work, you have earned the right to talk about it. If you approach whatever that “magic passion” is for you with a genuine sense of good intention (meaning you do it because you can’t not do it, not because you want to be famous or make a lot of money), you deserve to share that with the world.

In fact, it’s usually the things we are reluctant to share that are the things we should be sharing more of. Malcom Forbes once said:

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.”

So let’s all value who we truly are. We may not be the very best at what we are, but if it’s a true part of us, it’s worth offering to others, AND to ourselves.

So, here’s me practicing humility:

• I grew a pumpkin. And I’m happy to share my knowledge about pumpkin growing with you.
• I’m an artist. I’m happy to share information about creating art with you.
• I’m a mother, and I’m more than happy to share any information I have about children with you.

The list can go on and on. But I think as long as we are willing to share the things inside us, talking about them isn’t boasting- it’s an invitation to create connections with other people, to be of service, and it’s an opportunity for us to offer more of ourselves to the world.

I want to know, who are you? What can you share?

I leave you with a quote:

“Use those talents you have. You will make it. You will give joy to the world. Take this tip from nature: The woods would be a very silent place if no birds sang except those who sang best.” – Bernard Meltzer

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Chel Micheline is an artist, art historian, writer, mother, wife, and animal-rights advocate who is easily amused by reading, swimming very long distances, gardening, meditating, writing, and puzzling things out. Oh, and playing with paint.

She can be reached over at http://gingerblue.com and on facebook at http://facebook.com/gingerblue