Gratitude and the Benefits of Troubleshooting (and dancing barefoot…)

Welcome to Tuesdays with Chel.

Each week Chel Micheline of Gingerblue will offer her perspectives on our Bliss Habits. Please enjoy the wisdom and clarity she offers.

“Having more joy does not necessarily require a life overhaul—you may just need to create more space in your life for moments of joy.”
— Debrena Jackson Gandy

I’m taking a week-long break from talking about intention (see my series on “Exploring Intention”) to talk about something I’ve become very familiar with: gratitude.

Several months ago I began a personal gratitude project- it’s called “Common Miracles” and I’ve been writing about it over on my blog. After a lifetime of not fully understanding gratitude, or feeling like I was in touch with it in any meaningful way, I decided it was time to really figure it out. It’s been life-changing for me in so many ways to dedicate my time and energy to *truly* cultivating a sense of gratitude and figure out the ways I can create more of it in my every day life.

The most important discovery I have made throughout these past few months is that my personal experience of gratitude does not come through as a BIG, LOUD OVERWHELMING emotion, but more of a quiet whisper deep in my heart.

It’s lovely when we find ourselves in a state of appreciation- when our hearts swell and we feel a deep sense of contentment and well-being with things. But for me, that “deep sense of contentment” wasn’t a common feeling. For many years I tried finding it, tapping into it, and even faking it. I have journals full of entries and gratitude lists, but none of it felt real to me. But understanding that gratitude was a quiet emotion- THAT made sense. Knowing that it was quiet helped me to sense it when it came up, and not squelch it in the search for something much bigger.

The other discovery I made was that there are several ways of approaching gratitude. For me, it’s not just about experiencing gratitude it as it rises, but finding ways to “prime” my daily life so that I could feel gratitude more often.

I realized that when I’m not just “feeling it” with gratitude, I can approach it from another angle- I could troubleshoot. Meaning, I can try and figure out what the heck is going on in my life that prevents me from feeling appreciation and well-being. And then I can try and work on ways to minimize those things.

To be honest, some days it’s very difficult for me to tune into gratitude. There’s a ton of stuff going on, people need things from me, I’m being pulled in a million directions, I’m not feeling great, my daughter isn’t feel great, things are piling up, etc. I’m guessing that in every life there are days like that- days when when we can’t get a moment to catch our breath, much less let sit down and ponder gratitude.

I figured out that on crazy, chaotic days, I am better at problem solving. Some days, I’m better at looking at things from a practical viewpoint, figuring out what I’m NOT grateful for rather than what I am grateful for. Figuring out what is preventing me from truly feeling a sense of appreciation and contentment, even on a small level.

And then I can work on eliminating those things as much as possible, so that gratitude is once again possible. It makes me feel like I’m back in control, like I have some power over things and how I am feeling about them.

I’m telling you this because, at least for me, the holidays can be a stressful time. While it’s a time of great joy, emotions run high, there are a lot of things to get done, and I know a lot of us have family members that are skilled at saying the *exact* wrong thing at the exact wrong time.

So if you can’t cultivate gratitude, if you can’t find a space to sink into and feel some sense of contentment in these coming days, give gratitude troubleshooting a shot.

Ask yourself:
What could make the moment better?
What could put you in a better place to appreciate things?
Is it leaving the room for a few minutes, going outside for a breath of fresh air? Is it taking a break from wrapping or writing cards or monitoring flight arrivals to grab a cup of coffee and flip through a magazine? Is it curling up on the couch to watch “Elf” for the fortieth time? Is it putting on your favorite music and dancing in your bare feet? (Maybe it’s putting on your favorite music in the car as you drive away from the madness.) Maybe it’s just taking a quick nap.

So if you’re not feeling gratitude or appreciation, try troubleshooting. Try figuring out what the problem is, and invest some time and energy into approaching that “block” and eliminating it as much as possible. While I can’t guarantee you it will turn frustration into appreciation, I can guarantee you that taking the time and effort to figure the issue out in more detail will make you feel a lot more in control of your own happiness.

Regardless, please take some time this season to appreciate *yourself* and all the things you do. Please take the time to savor the things that make you happy. Treat yourself. Indulge a little. If there’s no magic, make some because you truly, truly deserve it.

Love from me to you!