Don’t look outside, true joy is inside you

Today’s guest post comes to us from Alejandro Reyes of Enso Journey. I am just tickled to introduce you to this gem of a person who has quickly become one of my favorite friends on Twitter. Ever ready with a re-tweet and sharing genuine concern, I was smitten by Alex’s kindness and then I visited his inspiring blog which he produces in collaboration with Carmin Camacho and I was completely won over. Bookmark his site, and as he might recommend himself, pour yourself a cup of tea and enjoy.

 

We are all in search for true happiness. I know you want to feel joy in every moment of your life, and believe me, I would be really happy if you tell me your life is full of joy! But in modern society there has been a lie circulating around for so long that it has started to sound like a truth. Today, you and I are going to fight back and reclaim the true source of joy.

The lie: joy is something you can buy

Outside the virtual walls of Bliss Habits, I heard something horrible. Joy can be bought; you can be happy if you just buy certain things and win status in our current society, having a high paying job and of course a huge house. That is the life that the world is trying to sell you. But do you believe that having more will make you happy or let you form the habit of joy?

No matter how much money you make or how much you buy, the reality is that these achievements are not enough if they come from the outside. Real joy is not something that comes from the outside. It comes from within you.

Buying a new TV, a new car, a new house, or whatever may give you the illusion of happiness. Yes, you feel happy for a couple of days, then it fades, and you are back in the same endless cycle, you need more stuff to be happy again. This could lead you to a very destructive cycle. But I’m glad you are here, because it means that within you there exists a seed that will help you avoid this horrible pitfall.

The truth: joy is within you

Here is the good news; you already have all the joy you need inside you, now you just need to unlock it. But you need to work a bit to do it.

People that are truly happy have found a way to look at the world with different eyes. No, we are not trying to turn you into one of those people that are so positive that can’t possibly be realistic. That’s not the point. The idea is to be able to find joy in your current life. A lovely example, courtesy of Kathy, is the following tweet:

[…]MY favorite morning moment is when my 4yo wakes and power hugs me with a “Good morning momma!”[…]

That was the answer I got when I asked Kathy for a happy moment. Yes, that is a happy moment, but there are a million things happening during the morning that can get us really cranky. Kathy has found a way to overcome all those distractions and find joy in her life. You can do it too, and it’s time to get right into what you need to unlock the inner joy in your life:

• Be grateful of your current life: I agree with you, life is hard. But it also gives us those precious moments that you wouldn’t change for anything. Back when I was a kid we had almost nothing, when doing my homework, I sat on a paint bucket instead of a real chair, but I was happy to be able to learn new things. I focused on that joy, not in my rudimentary chair. Find those precious moments and actually be grateful for them. You score more points if you thank those involved in your joyful moments.
• Celebrate even the smallest accomplishment: To truly build the joy in your life you need to build momentum, and there is no better way than to celebrate every small success you get. Want an easy example? Here it goes. Did you help someone? Enjoy a nice cup of tea as celebration.
• Connect with a higher power: No need to talk about religion, just take a little moment each day to tell the world a joyful moment. It can be spoken, tweeted, posted on facebook, prayed, meditated, or done anyway you want. You won’t believe the power of this one until you try it, get right into it and you will see.
• Write a joy list: This one is a variation of the previous one. I truly believe in the power of writing. If you write something down you are telling your brain to truly pay attention. Now imagine what you will feel if you write down everything that brings you joy. Every smile and good memory. That is a list that you can review every time you feel down. Trust me, I have one!
• The hard one, find joy around you: If you do the ideas above, this one will become easier and easier over time. But at first it requires you to work a bit harder. You need to find joy during your daily routine. The little smiles from your family, the cat playing with a pair of socks, those birds singing outside, your favorite song playing, and every little thing that makes you smile. Open your eyes and try hard to spot this moments, you can add them to the list if you want.

Those are just a couple of suggestions, but I bet you can craft a lot more. For example, while writing this post a friend of mine told me that she keeps a happiness journal. She is taking the list idea one step further, she writes the moments she find every day in a journal. A wonderful idea if you ask me.

Forming the joy habit

If you work hard on this one, you will start doing things in a very different way. You will turn into a non-violent warrior that can turn every moment into an opportunity to build something of great value for you and those around you. Just by accepting one simple truth: You have all the joy you need inside you.

Don’t forget to share the ways you find joy inside you in the comments, you will help others, it’s a great way to spread the joy.

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You can find Alejandro on Twitter @EnsoJourney , Facebook, Google + and on the Enso Journey blog.

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