Today we are lucky to have Dani from Life Unconstrained with us! A burst of joyful exuberance, some of you may remember her when she jumped right in and introduced herself during the last community week. Dani is full of “big ideas, wicked wisdom, and inspiration” and I am thrilled to have her take on JOY to share with you!
I was at a local coffee shop recently, head down and utterly consumed by the project spread out before me. The hum of conversations and the hiss and clang from behind the counter all faded away from their normal cacophony into a gentle ambient background noise the deeper I dove in to the task at hand. But every so often, a noise stopped me in my tracks: the fantastically joyful laughter of a small girl a few booths behind me. Hers was the kind of laughter that dares to be ignored; laughter so beautiful, so happy and pure, that you can’t help but smile.
And it got me thinking about the purity of joy, that kind of true joy that’s natural to us as kids but difficult to come by as adults.
As kids, we find joy everywhere. For most of us, the world is largely untainted by stressors and work issues and the constant running and thinking and busyness of adulthood. When you’re a happy child, in that moment, you’re just happy. And it’s in those moments, of being surrounded by and immersed in pure happiness, that joy exists. There’s no struggle to get there, no focused reflection or purpose and intent necessary, nothing that pulls you away before you’re ready to let the moment go. At that age, joy is a natural, organic state of being.
So why is joy so difficult to come by as adults? Why and how do we lose that ease, that ability to slip into the altered state of consciousness that is laughter or happiness, fully experienced? It’s something different for each of us, I’m sure. Something in one of the many things that we’ve experienced, a step or two in the journeys that have moved us away from our childhood selves. But no matter where our lives have led us, I believe that we all still have within us a grand capacity for unbridled joy.
So how can we get there?
- Be open to joy. The most important part of learning anything, of preparing to experience something, is willingness. If you are closed to something, you run the risk of missing it, even if it passes right in front of you. But in openness, the possibilities are endless.
- Immerse yourself in happiness. Find the things that bring you joy, or the things that make you laugh, that make your heart sing, and give yourself over to them completely. If your joy comes from a glass of wine with a good friend, eliminate distractions, let the world fall away for a few hours, relax, and have fun with a movie and a bottle of your favorite wine.
- Find ways to bring more joy into your life. I like to call this the “joy-prone” lifestyle. If you can make changes – even little, tiny ones – to create more opportunities to be joyful, joy will come to you so much more easily (and often!)
- Give yourself permission to experience joy. So often, especially in times of stress, we hold ourselves back from the good moments – because we want to focus on what needs to be done, or because we’re not willing to open ourselves up to the vulnerabilities that come with happiness and joy. But joy is its own special kind of healing; give yourself permission to feel and to heal. No one can stop you from experiencing you (or allow you to feel it as often as you’d like) except you.
- Recognize that joy is magical, but it is not magic. Joy is not hard to come by. It is not a special skill or a bonus available only to a secret club with a decoder ring and a handshake. Joy is nothing more than the beautiful intersection of openness and happiness, and it always, always comes from within.
In the end, it doesn’t matter where you find joy, or how often you experience it. It only matters that it’s achievable, that it is amazing, and that it exists inside each and every one of us.
Danielle Nelson is a hippie, teacher, artist, and signal-booster who finds her joy in helping others. In her new program, Teaching Redefined, she wants to help you unearth your inner teacher and share your passion with the world. She spends her time helping passionate folks clarify their goals, connect with their communities, take action, and get inspired. I’ve written both for my own site and for other places like Tiny Buddha and Roots of She.
Join Dani on her blog, where she blogs about connection, clarity, and living life uncosntrained, or connect with her on Facebook, Google, or Twitter.
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